Still Sifting

Two weeks have passed since our arrival back home from Africa. 

And I'm still sifting....
sifting through the absolutely beautiful but harsh reality photos and the
beautiful but harsh reality memories I hold in my head and heart
 from a place that oddly feels like 'home'. 

 I still trust that God is leading me to make much valuable sense
of this special opportunity.
So far these things have been on my heart:

1.  I believe the spiritual benefit I am gaining is much larger
than that of those I went "to help". 

2.   I am coming to the conclusion that when one's entire past scope of 'reality'
proves to be utterly false  by the newer reality, confusion sets in. 
Not the kind of confusion that causes doubt or depression,

but one that is causing me to realize how skewed my past perspectives
were but also awakens my desire to see and live in God's true perspective.


3. Some lessons are only learned when we step out beyond our comfort zone
and our ability level and watch God in action. 
Just last Monday, after returning, during our Sister's Bible Study, Beth Moore 
expressed the opinion that there are times where God calls us to go "deeper still"

alone with Him. 
I believe it was spiritually important for me to trust Him and open my heart
to His beloved children in Africa and the Kingdom work going on there.

 

Pictures are so one-dimensional and can't do it justice,

but I'd like to share some pictures and thoughts from Uganda. 

There were days that were emotionally difficult. 

Seeing, touching, holding children who live without even the most basic of physical needs...
but trusting in His great love for them. 



These are a few of the street children who had been being picked up and
taken to a Remand Center the night before we visited. So, twenty-two
American white women, so far out of our area of experience,
did our best to be the hands and feet of Christ
to these precious children.



But then, there were days that were so full of JOY ...
~ Joy in worshiping with those who love the Lord whole heartedly
~ Joy in participating in Kingdom work
~ Joy in knowing I will spend eternity with my new brothers and sisters in Christ
~ Joy in experiencing how much He LOVES His children.

Gratefulness in receiving a new dress/shirt and flip-flops.



Unbelievable fun with balloons, bubbles and new praise songs!

Still sifting.........

"And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people
grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows. May he, as a result,
make your hearts strong, blameless, and holy as you stand before God
our Father when our Lord Jesus comes again with all his holy people. Amen."  
1 Thessalonians 3:12-13



Or....Why Not?

 "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ

 to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family

by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

This is what he wanted to do,

and it gave him great pleasure.

So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us

who belong to his dear Son.

He is so rich in kindness and grace  that he purchased our freedom

with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins." 

Ephesians 1:4-7 

As my relationship with God becomes more personal, the desire to please and glorify Him has grown and has taken on new forms.  I am learning to believe that I am who He says I am.  I am a new creation no longer tied to the limitations I've blindly clung to.  His grace compels me to live differently.  As I begin to get a glimpse of the sheer beauty of His grace, how can I respond with anything but...Yes! 
And so, with a very willing and grateful Yes! I prepare to follow His leading to join a mission trip to Africa. Do I understand the whats and whys yet?  Not at all, but I trust that those answers will become crystal clear when the time comes.  I trust He will break our hearts in just the right places and fill us with unspeakable joy - all at the same time.  I trust that He will do what He does best - enable and transform.  I'm finally ready and am grateful for His loving patience.
Glory to God!

 

WHY?

WHY?

Why have I believed Satan's lie that there is nothing "little me" can do within

the hugeness of Kingdom work?

Why have I accepted the comforts and blessings that I have been given for my own use?

Why have I believed the lie that what God wants of me is to follow "the rules"?

Why do I lack the faith to surrender to Him?

These are just a few of the questions I am working through.

On one hand I am saddened that I waited to this late stage in my life. 

But, on the other hand I am elated to still have life to work through these questions. 

I understand this will be a difficult but amazing adventure. 

Change will take place -- as it surely must.

I am working towards surrender. 

I now believe there are important things I can do within the hugeness of His Kingdom work. 

I am rejecting the belief that I am ok as long as I control my behavior and move within the guidelines.  I am ready to learn how to use my blessings to benefit those in need. 

I am growing towards surrender.

On June 25th I, along with my niece Allison, will join an amazing group of believers who
desire to make a difference in the lives of God's precious children in Uganda and Kenya. 

We will work with nine different ministries/orphanages in these countries.

 

We are praying to make a difference, to share the love of Christ with every precious soul
we meet, to allow God to break us and teach us what we need to learn to serve Him
more fully.

Please join us in this prayer.